A Collection of Witty, Thought-Provoking & Hilarious Messages From Fortune Cookies

Fortune cookies are more than just a sweet treat after a meal. They come with little nuggets of wisdom, humor, and sometimes puzzling life advice. But let’s be real: The best fortunes are the ones that make you laugh. We have all cracked open a fortune cookie and found ourselves giggling at the message inside. And that is the beauty of the funniest fortune cookie sayings out there! They almost always catch you off-guard.

Whether they are accidentally funny or cleverly written, these little slips can be downright hilarious. Here are some of the funniest fortune cookie sayings, inspired by the best examples out there:

Someone is looking up to you. Don’t let that person down.

Opening your fortune cookie to find this gem makes you pause for a moment. It is as though the cookie is reminding you that you’re someone’s role model, and that comes with responsibility. While the tone is serious, the thought of a cookie holding you accountable is enough to bring a smile to anyone’s face.

Who knew desserts could be so wise?

Pinterest / No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible!

This one takes the classic idea of personal responsibility and turns it into a mini-lecture. It is deep, yes, but it is also funny when you think about a snowflake having feelings. It reminds us that sometimes we are part of something bigger than ourselves, and yet, the metaphor makes it feel like we’re being schooled by a wise, poetic fortune cookie.

If you eat something & nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories!

The best fortunes are those that perfectly match the moment. After a big meal, reading this feels like the universe giving you a free pass. It is the perfect combination of humor and wishful thinking, and it is hard not to laugh when your fortune cookie is giving you permission to indulge guilt-free.

Even though we know it is not true, it is the little lie we all wish we could believe!

Help! I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory!

This is one of those fortunes that makes you chuckle out loud. The idea that someone’s plea for help somehow made it into your cookie is absurdly funny. It’s playful, random, and perfectly captures the kind of humor that makes fortune cookies a treat for the mind as well as the taste buds.

You can almost picture a tiny worker inside the cookie factory, sending out their SOS in the most humorous way possible.

Pinterest / Do not mistake temptation for opportunity, says a fortune cookie message!

Here is a fortune that sounds like solid life advice, but it’s easy to see the humor in it too. It’s almost like the cookie is reminding you to think twice before making a questionable decision.

Your shoes will make you happy today!

Imagine cracking open your fortune cookie only to read that your shoes are the key to happiness. It is simple, nonsensical, and yet it makes you smile. Maybe it is a subtle reminder that sometimes happiness comes from the smallest, most unexpected things: Like comfortable shoes.

It is funny because it is not the profound wisdom you’d expect, but it sticks with you nonetheless.

You will be hungry again in one hour!

This fortune takes a lighthearted jab at the realities of Chinese food. Anyone who’s had a plate full of fried rice knows that the hunger seems to sneak back sooner than you’d like. It is funny because it is true. And the fact that the fortune cookie is calling you out on it makes it even better.

It is almost like the cookie is giving you a heads-up on the food coma to come!